At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
