I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
nutella sex= disaster
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
