We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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