I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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