Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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