she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
