I love black thongs
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
