hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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