I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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