Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
