it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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