I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
