I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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