"it" just moved
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
