My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
