You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
