Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
