my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
