I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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