I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
