were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
