Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
