He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
