is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
