OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
