RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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