me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
