a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
