erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
