she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she looked like the before picture.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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