So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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