i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
