Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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