CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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