Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
