girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
