I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
