so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
