I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
