How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
