Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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