He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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