Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
