Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
