google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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