I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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