whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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