i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
