just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
