can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
