maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
