Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
